Welcome To My World

It was the year 1986 when I had the Vision of the Burning Calf. This was not an ordinary dream but a Vision and a strong warning!

I was living with a man I was not married to. I was not a Christian at the time but several months later I began attending church. I don't recall any particular sermons on repentance or living Holy but I began to be convicted by the Holy Spirit. It began to feel wrong but I was in love, planned on marrying him and as so many do I suppose I was having my version of what I call "Burger King Christianity" have it your way. Well, it doesn't work that way. Sex outside of marriage is fornication and the Bible clearly states no fornicator will enter into Heaven. One night God came to me in a vision, the vision of the burning calf. He made it very clear the choice put before me. Here is the vision.

The details. We lived in a 4 bedroom house, 2 of which had windows that faced the large back yard and woods line. We slept in the bedroom far end of house and on the left. The 2 bedrooms on the right faced the woods and the one directly across the hall was furnished as a spare bedroom. In the dream Ed was angry at me because his spider plant was dead and he blamed me.  In the dream he was sleeping in the room across the hall because he was angry with me for not caring for the plant. I went into the room he was sleeping and climbed into bed with him wanting to make up. He was lying on his left side back to the door and directing facing a window that looked out over the back yard and woods line. As I climbed in behind him I was now also facing the window and seeing out this is what I saw.

The Vision: There was a single wire electric fence that ran from one end of the house to the woods line, across the yard and back up attached to other side of house fully fencing in the back yard. Within this fenced in area was a red heifer. To my horror, the calf  was blazing fire one half of it's body, from mid body hind both back legs and tail were blazing fire. I screamed "Danny's calf"! (He is my only son and first born)  Ed and I jumped up, grabbing clothes to put on and ran to put out the fire. As he threw the bucket, the water in mid air and before it reached the calf it suddenly burst into the full body blazing flames yet was not consumed. Oh what an intense blazing fire! When I awoke there was a trembling fear I have never before or since experienced. There is surely fear and trembling in the Presence of a Holy God. AND THE LORD SAID " I will consume you with fire" Oh these words were not audible but heard as clear and with such power and yet gentle. This statement had a double meaning. He would consume me with fire as in Hells fire if I did not repent, or he would consume me with the fire of the Holy Ghost; it was my choice. 

Choices. When Ed and I got a house together I gave up my independent living. To leave would mean finding a house, one months security deposit, utilities in my name and their deposits, and of course the move. Besides which I loved him. This was the practical reality. So, to choose God and trust Him, I chanced having to do all the things required to get back on my own feet AND chance loosing the man I loved. But what were my options, and what would be the consequence of my decision? I told Ed the next morning what I heard and understood the Lord to say. I clearly told him this was not a ploy to get him to marry me. My daughter and I would move into our own place again and that was what I was prepared to do. I told him unless we were man and wife I could not continue. I had made a spiritual decision and was prepared to back it up. He gave no response. He left without saying a word and went to work. I took that to mean it was over but I had made my decision. I found a house for rent in the paper that day and after work Ed was driving me to see it as I did not even have my own car at that point. We drove approximately 20 miles and not a word spoken by either of us. Suddenly he said "Patricia....will you marry me?" Ah.....isn't God faithful?  He did give me the desire of my heart but by His standards. He will not be second to any man or any other idol and he does not wink at sin. I was loving the Lord with my heart and loving Ed with my body. In todays society it is acceptable. It is not acceptable in the sight of the God. His standards do not change. Ed and I remained together but abstained from any sexual contact until our wedding night. It was only 14 days from the day of my decision to the day I became his wife. 7, 14, and 21 are Biblical numbers for sanctification and purification. We were "set apart" before the Lord for 14 days. We didn't knowingly plan that, it was a date we choose to get married but I see the Biblical significance now. We have been married almost 23 years. Our marriage like all marriages has had good times and hard times but we have weathered every storm and we are happily married secure in the knowledge that our house is built on the Rock of Jesus Christ and it will stand!

As for the the words so clearly spoken "I will consume you with fire".....OUR GOD IS A CONSUMING FIRE! I am an evangelist and Prophet. I have preached in crusades in India with a  Mantle and a Scepter and many have been saved healed and delivered by this power of the Holy Ghost that is within me. That is the result of  the choice I made 24 years ago. It surely did not happen over night. In fact I suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder and was Miraculously healed by God in a matter of 3 days in Nov.12-14,1995. My husband stayed with me through the bad times, in sickness and in health and he is so glad he did. This is a life redeemed form such pain and He has turned my mourning into laughter. It has been 15 years since my healing and 14 years in active full time ministry. I pray this blog will stir you to repentance and Holiness, without which none will see the Lord.

             REPENT, FOR THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND.

Word of God Speak by MercyMe (lyrics) (excellent quality).flv (6.26 mb)

Note: the red heifer is extremely rare and has to do with purification.

see link below

red-heifer-harbinger.pdf (37.78 kb)

Run don't walk

I am a walking miracle, not a statistic. But statistically, over 50,000 women die per year at the hands of their spouses/lovers.

 I was married at the age of 16. My husband began to beat me within a year of our marriage, shortly after the birth of our son. I have survived head trauma, broken bones, a 357 magnum loaded and cocked pressed tightly to my temple (and the safety was not on) I've had my head slammed into a block wall 6 times until I was uncouncious. Lucky that's all, to be alive. I have been strangled to fainting also. But by the grace of God, I am not a statistic.

I was a meticulous housewife, submissive, loving and never even "thought" of another man. yet his rage that was all about him and not about me, could be set off by something as simple as I didn't get the door quick enough or his bath water wasn't hot enough. Through 3 1/2 yrs I became anorexic and suicidal. The neighbors would call the police all the time, beatings were a couple times a week, but when the police would come I was too afraid to press charges.

After one night when I was nearly bludgeoned to death in the sight of my 2 yr old son, I made up my mind my son would not see this one more time. My husband was in a back room and we ran for dear life, and left the state that night!

I now know that I was one of the lucky ones. I did not die from the beatings, the gun did not go off, but I could have just as easily been one of the less fortunate, one of the approx 50,000 women (and the number has not changed in 30 yrs) who die at the hands of the men who love them?

How many men are in prison because it was one hit too many, too hard, she fell the wrong way, they didn't intend to kill her but she is dead and they are in jail. Hopefully.

Every day is a time bomb. If a man cannot control his temper, he cannot control the outcome, and that sometimes goes terribly wrong.

You cannot afford to wait until you think you can manage on your own. There are agencies and services to help battered women, those who have the courage to refuse to be a victim and become a survivor.  They may not survive the next fight. If you think I'm a gloom and doom wounded person writing this, look it up. I was lucky, I got out in time, but 50,000 a yr, every year, don't.

My advice, run don't walk!

I think for me I was young, insecure and as most women who except abuse it is about "maybe I deserved it" No one EVER deserves to be abused. This was a bad message instilled as a child. Im not a child anymore. Im a survivor and I have value to my family, myself and to God. I remarried and have been happily married 23 years to date. Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. I have a loving family, I have purpose and I have a destiny in Him, Lord Jesus. "For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. And you shall call on me and come and pray to me. And you shall seek me and I shall be found by you when you search for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11=13